How do you create or switch to this kind of relationship?

There is no recipe, and no relationship springs into existence fully formed the moment the couple decides they want it to be a dominant one. Relationships evolve over time. Trust takes time to build. Take it very slowly. Think of your relationship as a journey of baby steps, and be prepared for some of those steps to feel like giant leaps backwards. That is the nature of progress. Learning, developing, growing is not a tidy process organised along a straight line. Be kind to yourselves when it feels as though you are lost, and have faith that you will find the path again. But keep an open mind about where you think you are heading. You may want to take a completely different path.